


Where We Used To Bleed

by Myfriendwithdepression



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Age Difference, Bottom Tyler, Depression, F/M, Josh is 28, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Patient Tyler, Self-Harm, Therapy, Top Josh, Triggers, Tyler is 16, Tyler will be hospitalized a few different times, therapist Josh, underage Tyler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:42:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myfriendwithdepression/pseuds/Myfriendwithdepression
Summary: Tyler becomes a short term patient at a mental hospital where Josh works as a youth therapist.*Please read the tags as well as the notes*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic Tyler is loosely based off of myself and some of my own experiences. I have been diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder as well as Borderline Personality Disorder for about four years now, I have also been hospitalized several times over the past couple years. I've read a few fics that take place in mental institutions and they very rarely do an accurate job of portraying the actual experience. People often misunderstand mental hospitals, they aren't a place to be feared, many of the patients suffer mainly from chronic depression and/or anxiety. Most separate adult patients from minor patients, and there are very rarely cases of childhood schizophrenia so there are very few in youth wards. Tyler starts out at the age of 16 and Josh at the age of 28, but as this fic takes place in Ohio, where the age of consent is 16, it is legal to be in a sexual relationship. Most of the triggering content takes place in the first couple chapters, but it gets better from there.

Tyler watched his blood drip onto the bathroom counter and slowly flow into the sink, collecting at the bottom and beginning to solidify as it cooled against the porcelain. He shifted his gaze to his wrist that was producing the red fluid, slits littered haphazardly up and down the raw flesh. Despite the insistent burn, Tyler couldn’t feel anything but numbness. He was hoping that a bit of pain would pull him out of the mental daze that had been plaguing him for months, years, but it seemed to only worsen it, burying him deeper into the feeling of hopelessness. He racked his brain for something that would make him feel something, anything, maybe a few burns from his lighter, punching a wall until his knuckles bled, drinking an entire bottle of vodka. Tyler slid down his bathroom wall until he was sitting on the cold tiles, mentally going over his options of self destruction.  
The boy wasn’t even sure why he was feeling particularly awful that night, nothing out of the ordinary had happened that day at school, or with his family. Maybe that was it, maybe the dreadful routine of everyday life was starting to drive him crazy, always the same, nothing to look forward to. Tyler was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder when he was thirteen, and has been on all manner of antidepressants, sleeping pills, anti anxiety meds since then. He was now sixteen and was only getting worse as the years dragged on.  
His family was as supportive as they could be, doing their best to listen to Tyler and be there for him in his times of need, but could only do so much on such days as this.  
Again, Tyler glanced down at his throbbing wrist, the cuts were deeper than usual, but not deep enough to hit a vein, his razor had broken the skin so the fat on his arm was displayed openly to the cold air. His stomach churned as he studied it, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Tyler felt tears begin to slide down his cheeks and didn’t even bother to hold back his sobs, he allowed himself to be as loud as he needed, shutters racking his body and snot dripping from his nose.  
It wasn’t long before his mother was at the door, knocking loudly on the wood and rattling the locked doorknob, all while pleading with her son to let her in. Tyler wailed and pulled harshly on his hair with tight fists, just wanting all the noise to stop and to be left alone to bathe in his self hatred. Mrs Joseph continued to pound on the door and beg him to open it, starting to spill tears of her own for fear of what her child was doing to himself. Tyler finally dragged himself to the door, unlocking it before quickly retreating to the far corner of the room where he immediately curled in on himself. His mother pushed open the door and rushed to Tyler, dropping to her knees and wrapping her arms around him. Tyler didn’t bother to explain, he simply buried his face into her shoulder and sobbed brokenly as she rocked him back and forth. He barely registered the nonsense words that Mrs Joseph was murmuring to him, trying her best to soothe her distressed son. “I can’t take it anymore, I can’t- can’t take it.” Tyler stuttered through his tears, not really speaking to his mom, but just speaking in general.  
After what seemed like hours of sitting in the dimly lit bathroom, Mrs Joseph pulled herself upright and began digging through the cabinet beneath the sink, eventually placing a half used roll of gauze on the counter. She gently pulled Tyler to his feet, before attempting to clean his aching wrist, and wrapped it in gauze, all without saying a word. His mother then led Tyler into his room and helped him onto his bed. But instead of saying goodnight and leaving, she began pulling random shirts and pairs of pants from his closet along with socks and underwear from his dresser, and stuffing them into his empty backpack. Tyler watched her from his bed with glazed, unseeing eyes, only half understanding what she was doing. Once the backpack was full of pieces from his wardrobe, Tyler’s mother had him slip on his vans and ushered him out the front door and into the family van. At this point Tyler’s tears had stopped, but his uneven breathing and racing heart continued as his panic and confusion increased. “Where are we going?” Tyler asked in a hoarse voice, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. “I’m taking you to the hospital, they can help you there.” His mother replied, trying to sound calm, but underlying anxiety was evident in her tone. Tyler’s heart sank as her words registered in his hazy mind, but he didn’t try to argue or attempt to change her mind, he only turned his head to watch the street lamps race by in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was mainly to explain the admission process as well as the layout of the hospital. Tyler will be meeting Brendon (his roommate for duration of this hospital stay) as well as Josh. Also nothing overtly sexual will happen until later chapters. Hope you guys enjoyed this update and I'll try to get moving with the next one!

The admission process at White River Behavioral Health Center was a little more than Tyler bargained for. As the brown haired boy sat in silence in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, staring down at his grimy vans, he wondered if he should have just ended it. At least then he wouldn’t have to sitting in a hospital on a Thursday night when he should be working on his English essay. Who was he kidding, Tyler hadn’t done schoolwork in months, maybe years. Before he had started showing symptoms of mental illness he was a straight A student, he had been on the fucking honor roll for Christ’s sake.  
After another thirty minutes of watching Judge Judy on the waiting room TV, Tyler heard his name being called by a young nurse with a clipboard and bags under her eyes. Him and his mother followed the tired looking nurse into a small room where she explained what would happen next.  
“You’ll be staying in inpatient for three to five days, sometimes more if the doctors think you’re still a danger to yourself. There’s an onhand therapist who you’ll have daily sessions with, and you’ll meet with a psychiatrist at least once to see what needs to be changed with your medication. The nurses will check on you every fifteen minutes if you’re in your room, just to make sure you’re doing okay.” She said before looking down at her clipboard to make sure she covered everything. “Don’t worry, Tyler. We’ll get you feeling better in no time.” He appreciated her kind words, but knew they weren’t true. It was rare that Tyler ever felt ‘better’, and when he did it he was usually back to feeling awful again a couple hours later.  
Tyler and his mother said their goodbyes, which consisted of them hugging as she cried into his hair, the boy refused to admit that he shed a few tears of his own. Eventually they parted, his mother promising that she’d come everyday to visit him along with his father, before heading back towards the front desk to fill out more paperwork. Tyler then followed the young nurse through a series of hallways that all looked identical before riding an elevator downstairs where the inpatient unit was. The two finally reached a large metal door with an ID scan to the left of it. The nurse swiped her tag across the scanner before turning the knob and pushing open the door. Tyler’s eyes swept across the large, open room he and the young woman had entered.  
Nearest to the door were several soft looking purple armchairs all set in a circle with a few teenagers sitting comfortably in them, a few feet behind them was a small kitchenette near a few round tables surrounded by cheap plastic chairs. Across from the tables a small room surrounded on two sides with windows and filled with desks and a few adults dressed in light blue scrubs. Then the large room opened out into two hallways leading off to the left and the right of the room, where Tyler assumed the bedrooms were. Other than the armchairs and tables, the large room was sparsely decorated. The only wall thing on the bleak, white walls other than two large windows that looked out onto an inclosed courtyard, was a large bulletin board covered in coloring pages and printed sheets with the daily schedules on them.  
Tyler felt his stomach turning itself in knots and his hands shaking from anxiety. He didn’t dare make eye contact with the other patients, but he could feel their eyes on him. The nurse then led him into a small room to their right, where another, older woman in scrubs was sitting at a desk facing the wall. “Hello, Tyler. I’m Janet and I’ll be processing you this evening.” The older woman said, not bothering to turn away from her computer screen. Tyler politely greeted her in response before the younger nurse told him to have a seat in a plastic chair next to an examination table.  
There was a short moment when the only sound in the small room was the clicking of Janet’s mouse as she continues to work on her computer. Finally she swivelled around in her chair to look Tyler up and down, her glasses low on her nose. Tyler started to feel his skin prickle from being watched so intensely, but then Janet pushed herself to her feet and began bustling around the room. She checked his heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature in under two minutes, all while documenting it on her clipboard. “Alright Hun, now I’m gonna need you to get completely undressed, we need to make sure you’re not carrying anything that could be used to hurt yourself.” Janet explained casually. Tyler felt his heart stop beating for a moment. He knew these nurses had probably seen about a dozen people naked today and that it was purely for safety reasons, but it still made his hands shake and hair stand up. Tyler slowly stood and began to undress, hoping they didn’t notice how heavily he was breathing. The two nurses politely averted their eyes, Janet passed his clothes to the younger nurse as he handed them to her, trying to work quickly so he could get dressed again. The younger nurse searched through his attire to make sure he wasn’t hiding anything, while Janet had him turn in a circle to check if there was anything on his person. She gently took his wrist in her hand to inspect his cuts.  
After what seemed like ages, his clothes were returned to him so he could quickly redress. Once he was fully clothed, Janet covered his mutilated wrist in a long, paper bandage and secured it with medical tape. “Just let us know when you need that replaced, Hun.” She said with a warm smile. Tyler then had to answer a list of questions concerning his mental health and personal life. Questions like if he did recreational drugs, smoked cigarettes, drank, etc. He tried to be honest with most of them, but he didn’t know if the information would go back to his parents or not, so he may have fibbed a little.  
Tyler was then given toiletries and sent on his way yet again. He thanked Janet before the younger nurse guided him from the small room and back into the large one. The other patients had disappeared from the circle of purple armchairs, and the room was now void of life. The two then made their way to the far end of space and turned left, into what the nurse explained was the boy’s hall. Apparently, there were half as many boys’ rooms as there were girls’, since the majority of admissions were female. “Since there are less boys’ rooms you’ll be sharing with another patient.” She quickly scanned her clipboard and nodded. “It looks like you’ll be with Brendon.” Tyler chest tightened, he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of sleeping within close proximity to someone who could possibly be a violent schizophrenic. The two came to a stop in front of a slightly open door, the nurse turned to face him and began explaining some ground rules. “Alright, so touching is not permitted between patients, you can’t go into anyone’s room except for your own, and swearing is not allowed. And don’t share your last name or contact information with the other patients.” She took a breath before continuing. “You’ll be served breakfast, lunch, and dinner as well as a snack twice a day. You’ll have mandatory groups throughout the day as well as free-time, room-time and daily one on one therapy.” She paused and checked her watch. “Everyone is in group right now, but it’s just about over so you can just hang out in your room for now. If you have any questions or need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.” The nurse gave him a tired smile before turning and heading back down the hall towards the Nurse’s station.  
Tyler stood in the dimly lit hallway for a minute, just allowing himself to collect his thoughts. He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry as he reflected on the previous few hours. But standing there in the wide, empty hallway, under the fluorescent lights, Tyler had never felt so small.


End file.
